I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
