their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
