from now on my penis is your penis
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I've blown a few things in my day
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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