I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
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