I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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