It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
