So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
