Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
they need to just BURY HIM!
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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