There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
