I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Four minutes until I can fart!
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
