We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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