Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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