I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
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Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
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Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
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