Only a mothe r could love this liver
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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