I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
