i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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