You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
i think i have two assholes
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
