there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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