THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
