I can't breathe out the right side of my face
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
