He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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