So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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