I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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