i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
The adults are the big ones right?
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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