Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
