Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
