need another drink. this is the easiest way
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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