Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
