Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
