she looked like the before picture.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
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