I looked at my own cervix.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
