I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
