If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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