I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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