I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
