what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
