yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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