It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
