Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
it's great music for shaving your balls
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
