Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
