just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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