id be glad to
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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