I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
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