actually, I'm a sock model
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
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