when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Barsexuality is the new black.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
