Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
