note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize