I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
You were trust falling into bushes
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
last night I used snow as a chaser
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
