he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
