id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
