awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
