U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
