its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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