I just cut my nipple shaving
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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