Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
