I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
