Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.