i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
