i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
