Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
