I just saw a hot homeless man
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
