Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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