The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
